Woe, Woe, Woe

Today as I added yet another necessity on to my grocery list, I started thinking about asking my parents for money. Once Richard's car payment comes out soon, he'll have like ... $50 for ALL of the things on our list. And $50 won't buy all of the basics we're out of. So I figured there wouldn't be any harm in asking for some help.

When Richard came home from work, he asked if we could walk to the liquor store so he could buy some beer. Of course I said "okay ..." in the most iffy way possible, so he knew I didn't want him to. That made my decision for me -- I chose to ask my parents for money.

I texted my dad -- I didn't call because I knew if Richard heard me he'd tell me not to -- and he said he could lend me some money. He dropped by a couple hours later to give me $200.

Richard didn't like that. Of course. An arguement quickly ensued.

He got mad and called me lazy for not having a job. I explained to him YET AGAIN that there's a recession going on, and I'm not the only one having a hard time. I also explained that I have applied for six jobs in three weeks. He looked at the job listings only hours earlier, so I asked how many jobs he saw in the paper that I qualify for. Instead of answering the question, he went to get the paper to try and prove I was wrong. Of course he couldn't. The only jobs in the paper this week that I qualify for, were the two jobs I already applied for. I mean really ... can anyone be so ignorant that they think I'm just being lazy and that's why I'm not working? It's almost like he's been living under an effing rock! It's not laziness that can be blamed for my not working ... it's the lack of jobs! Up until the new mall started advertising jobs, there's been nothing I qualify for pretty much since Aden's been born. Aside from the six jobs I've applied for recently, there's maybe two other jobs I've applied for ... that I barely qualified for. This is NOT me being lazy. Prick.

He got mad because I didn't consult him before asking. If I consulted him, he would've told me not to ... even though we need the money. He's asked his parents for help without consulting me before ... without even letting me know until he says something like "let's go to the store" and then I wonder where he got the money to do that. He figures he shouldn't have to consult me, because "how much money do I contribute to the household?" Um ... ALL OF THE $300 I GET EACH MONTH. If I decide to buy something for me instead of stuff Aden needs, it's because, by some miracle, I have extra. Richard says "Why should I have to contribute $1500 each month so we can live. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE HOUSEHOLD MONEY-EARNER DOES, YOU SELFISH ASS. He makes several times more than I get each month ... OBVIOUSLY he's the one who pays the bills. I bought him beer TWICE with my money this month ... and he's ignorant enough to wonder why he has to pay the bills. He says he buys things for me all the time. LIKE WHAT?! Food? ADEN AND RICHARD EAT FOOD TOO. Not like food is JUST mine.

Ugh ... I didn't realize that doing what I can to provide for my family was really a bad thing. We need the help right now ... money is tight, and all of our basic needs just ran out, or are darn close to it. Richard is so mad that I asked for help. He's too proud to ask for it, I had to. No big deal. It's like he'd rather us starve than forget about his pride for a minut and ask for help. It's not like I asked for money for my own selfish wants. I asked for help because ADEN needs things.

I can't believe this. And he's mad because he thinks he'll have to pay it back. He doesn't. My dad even said not to worry about. Of course I'll pay him back, when I can ... ME, not Richard.

This is ridiculous. Everyone needs help sometimes ...