Once In Awhile ...

Sometimes, I miss my old life. It's rare, but it happens.

Like tonight. I saw my best friend's facebook status say: [Friend's Name] is having her first dinner party tonight! Of course I immediately assume that said dinner party will be with my ex-friends, who are still her friends. And I don't know why, but that made me a little bit sad.

If I had friends, it would be so awesome to have a dinner party. Or, better yet, if I was still friends was those friends, it would be so awesome to attend that dinner party. I don't think my issue is really that I miss those friends, because they really are huge jerks now, I just miss ... having friends in general, I think, and being able to socialize and stuff. I mean, I sometimes miss those friends ... the way they were in high school, before I got pregnant. By the sounds of it, they're all huge jerks who are very ... high and mighty and proud of their "accomplishments" ... so I know we wouldn't get along anymore.

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to be a non-dinner-party-going, internet-friends-only, stay-at-home mom shut-in ... ah, well.


While we're on the topic of missing things ...

For one reason or another, the city we live in is pretty much falling apart. On purpose, of course, but still ...

First, they tore down a bar in town that has a huge place in the past for Richard and I. I think they tore it down last summer and I still get a little emotional driving past it. They tore it down so they could built low-budget housing, or whatever. A year later and they still haven't even levelled the area yet. Stupid city ...

That bar has a lot of memories for Richard and I. We started going there on weekends for $2 hi-balls, which resulted in a lot of drunken nights together. Some of them I can't remember, but a lot of them I can. Like they were yesterday. Obviously I don't miss those drunken nights, but we'll never be able to point out that bar to Aden and say "Mom and Dad used to go there all the time!" or whatever. 10 years down the road, I bet it will still be an empty area that they tore down for nothing -- oh, I should add that the building was almost 100 years old -- and we'll have to say "Mom and Dad used to go there ... before it was a bunch of rocks and dirt ...".

After that, they tore down another bar that has an even bigger place in our past! Essentially, it's the place where Richard and I met. We had seen each other working at Wal-mart, but this other bar is the first place we talked. It's the first bar I went to when I turned 18, even ... and even before I met Richard I made a LOT of good memories there. A lot of bad memories too, but still ... memories I'll never ever forget! And now ... they're rubble. Sad ...

Most recently, they tore down the "rat hole". It was an overpass/underpass going from this side of town to the west side. It doesn't hold a whole lot of memories, but there is still one there. It was one of many drunken nights with Richard; we were at a bar that we now live near -- at the time we lived on the west side. We walked under the rat hole, which wouldn't have been safe at a busy time of day, but seeing as how it was around 1 am, we were okay. It was a very long walk home, I'm sure, but it was very memorable, despite the amount of liquor in us.

So, it's depressing that the city is just ... tearing down all of my memories ... OUR memories.


Ugh ... stupid ... remembering stuff ...