Slow

This year has gotten off to a really slow start. It's only the 10th and I feel like it should be much later than that. It probably has something to do with only working like three days a week instead of six or seven. It's not a lot but I'll take it for now...I needed the break.

It finally feels like winter today. We've only had a few days that have felt the way they should...and today isn't as cold as this time of year should be but it's certainly colder than the 10 we got up to yesterday and the 11 the days before. In fact it's like 20 degrees colder...brr!

It's been a tough past couple days. I spent Sunday night crying in Tyler's arms over the whole year-since-the-abortion thing. I don't really know why I was crying...I guess it was just hard to think about. He said to try and focus on the future instead of the past...but it's not always that easy. I just tried to think about how different things would be now if I hadnt made that choice.

I would probably be miserable with Richard. I can't guarantee that he would've changed like he has because we had a kid together. I sure feel like he wouldn't. I would probably still be in counseling. I would have probably still met Tyler again, but he would have never been that interested in someone with TWO kids, even though he was pretty intoxicated when we met.

In the end, I still believe I made the best choice for everyone. No doubt in my mind.