Goodbye, 2011

I realize this post is a little late, but better late than never, right? I have decided to try and use my weekly bus rides for Aden time wisely, and I'll blog. Hopefully it works out!

Things are still going pretty well. I started to get a little stressed as Christmas got closer, because I working so often, I didn't have time to clean a lot...I was doing all my Christmas shopping on my breaks! But now all that is over and I can focus on life.

I'm trying to get into a better routine for being a better live-in girlfriend. I've realized that moving in with someone is a lot different than getting a place with someone. This way, the moving in way, I feel like I have to do things his way....even though I know that's not true, and as long as things are clean and whatever it shouldn't matter.

Anyway, I would like to bid adieu to 2011. No more updating for right now...just a bittersweet goodbye.

The year was tough, as anyone reading this would realize.

It started out with me pregnant, more depressed than ever, and very much alone. I was about to get fired, I was not seeing Aden, and I was very scared. January was, though I didn't know it yet, the start of major improvements.

About a year ago exactly (I think on the 8th or 9th) I got the abortion. I will never forget and I will always think of the one I let go of. Sometimes I get emotional thinking about it, but I try not to regret. I am convinced that I will be blessed with that same soul later in life. I know that sounds cheesy, but that's always how I've felt.

Spring was a blur. It was filled with court dates, waiting for counseling, and lots of stress. I got a job I hated and that didn't help with the depression. It was spring, but winter seemed to last until May. It was sheer misery.

May seemed to be a turn around point for me. I quit my job and went back to the only one I ever really loved: Toys R Us. I was not working close to home but I was in the city and that alone seemed to be a huge improvement.

Time with Aden became more frequent as court dates went on. It helped my depression a lot just to have my child around me more often. I will never again go back to what it was before that. Ever.

At the end of July I met Tyler again. I was probably at my highest point I had been at all year, and I'm certain that my amazing attitude has something to do with our immediate attraction. We clicked right away, and I could practically feel good things for the future.

My court dates ended soon after that. That felt like a huge win for me. Things were finally going in my favor!

Tyler and I made things official on August 27th. I'm not much for remembering dates, but he did, and now it's in my brain for good. It felt nothing but right, despite the way Richard looked at it.

I won't deny that Richard was a huge part of 2011. He was. I won't ever forget how he was there for me, to fix all the things he had a hand in ruining. I haven't mentioned him much because I just figure it was a given than he was there.

October, right before my birthday, marked the end of counseling. My counselor dubbed me much better, and capable of handling my own emotions. And, despite one bad encounter, I haven't even considered going back.

The last few months have been nothing but (mostly) traveling upward. Obviously I moved in with Tyler at the start of December, and things are only going to get better from here.

So what does 2012 hold for me?

I have a few goals. No resolutions, but things I'm looking forward to.

First, focusing on myself, Aden, and Tyler. No roommates with feelings or whatever for me.

I'm going to get my license so I can dream of buying a car. Driving will get me more time with Aden. Closer to half and half is my ultimate goal here. And since I'm healthy and capable of making more money, this is not an I reachable goal.

I would like to apply for the August semester of school. I was going to before the move, but obviously I got distracted. There is still time though!

I'm also excited to see where things go with Tyler...I have a feeling it's gonna be a really good year for us!

2011 was about fixing what was broken, and 2012 is going to be about improving on what is fixed. I'm determined and I know I'm more than capable. :)