Possibilities and Bravery

I found out yesterday that I might be losing my job. Yup ... apparently my name isn't even on next week's schedule. I have no clue why this might have been brought about ... but it appears that's the case. And of course, due to the fact that no manager at my job has any respect for the floor associates, no one could even tell me about this. I had to hear it from a friend who happened to me looking at the schedule ... and then it was confirmed by another friend.

I really don't know how to feel about the whole thing. I'm a little on the fence, I suppose. Losing this job makes me sad, because I really did enjoy doing what I did there ... not to mention all of the friends I've made while working there. I looked forward to going to work most of the time, because I had a little bit of a social life while I was there, despite not ever seeing them outside of work -- yet. I've developed some really awesome friendships with people there ... so at this point, I'm just hoping they won't end because my employment there is ending. After all, it's been awhile since I've had really close friends. Making those friends was, by far, the best part of my job. Sure, a lot of those friends are younger than me and don't have kids (and a few are older than me and don't have kids), but I've made friends WITH kids too, which is awesome. I'm even inviting a couple of them to Aden's birthday party in March. That is ... if we're still friends by then.

At the same time, it might be kind of a relief to be leaving. I liked the job, but there is so much BS going on there. Most of the managers don't respect anyone, and they treat all the floor people like shit. If you go to them with a problem, they make you feel like they'll do something to fix it ... and then it doesn't get fixed. It simply gets passed around as gossip and then forgotten about when something else comes up. Either that, or they'll turn the problem around on you and make it your fault, regardless of whether you had anything to do with it or not. I've been on both ends of the spectrum there. All I did was try to make my job more enjoyable for me, and in the end, I got screwed. Sounds fair, right? Nothing I ever did there was appreciated, and everything fantastic I did went unnoticed. I did a lot of good there. I made a lot of customers feel good and comfortable ... and helped a lot of first-time parents make good choices. But no ... none of that matters. All they want are people who have almost unlimited availability. It doesn't matter if you know what you're talking about in the baby department -- you could be an expert on all things baby, but if you are only available a couple nights a week, nope, you won't be working there long. Hell, my availability wasn't even that limited. I was available all weeknights, Saturdays after 1, and all Sunday. I think I made them mad by asking for days off ... but it's not like I requested those days for no reason at all! And I was only going to ask for more in the coming months -- Aden's birthday is in March, for one ... and since I'm a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding, I had a lot of commitments coming up for that too. So, in a way, I guess it's sort of a blessing in disguise if I'm fired.

Of course, I will need to find another job ASAP, but with the mall here now, I shouldn't have as much of a problem with that as I did in the past. I doubt I'll find a job that I liked as much as this one, but there are a lot of places there I wouldn't mind working. Hopefully I can find something before too long.



Now ... all that aside ... I want to talk about bravery.

I have a friend, Ashlee, who is the bravest, strongest, most amazing woman I know. She had her son on January 4th, and nothing has been easy for them. I don't know all of the details (I've been told them, I just can't remember shit), but I do that he has a heart disease. Ashlee found out that only 70% of the people with that disease live to be 20. The life expectancy for them is about 25-35 years, she says. Those are just a few of the facts I know right now ... as I keep forgetting the rest and I don't want to say them wrong!

Anyway ... Ashlee has been amazingly strong throughout all of this. If I were in a situation like that, I certainly wouldn't be that strong. I admire her so much for her strength. There are a lot of parents out there who might've given up by this point ... and parents who might not have wanted a child in the first place, and would give up on him as soon as they found out anything was wrong. But not Ashlee. Her son is so lucky to have such an amazing mother. She has cherished every moment he's been alive, and she'll continue to do so -- I know it.

If I ever find myself in a difficult position like that, I will have to do my best to channel some of Ashlee and try and gain some of her strength. She's amazing and inspiring ... and I've told her so many times in the last while, since her son's birth and even before.

I just wanted to talk about that a bit ... because she's just that amazing to me! There aren't very many people in the world who are as brave and strong as she's been ... and she deserves to know how amazing that is! Love you, Ash!