My Latest Annoyances

First and foremost: RICHARD. Of course. He's driving me crazy. For multiple reasons. It's shocking, I know.

Like, for example, he is not really ... accepting of the fact that Aden is 16 months old, not even. He's just way too eager for him to grow up. It drives me crazy. The age he's at is so ... amazing, and he just wants it to be done.

Today, I was in the kitchen baking, and Aden started crying. I asked what happened, and Richard says "he's just standing there" -- then Aden started crying harder, and I asked what happened again. This time it was "he stepped on a block". But instead of picking Aden up and comforting him, Richard just let him cry. I'm not one to pick up my kid at every whimper, but sometimes it's okay to comfort him! And Richard of all people should know how much it hurts to step on those blocks. Aden was upset and needed comforting -- enough said. He picked him up, and comforted him for maybe 5 minutes, before putting him down again and telling him to go play. And then, of course, Aden came running to the kitchen for me to comfort him, because he was still upset.

And Richard wonders why Aden doesn't go to him when he gets hurt or something. He goes to me first, because he knows (if he's actually sad) I'll pick him up and help him feel better. Richard gets more mad than anything when Aden is crying. It drives me crazy. 16 month olds deserve to be held when they're hurt or upset. I don't pick Aden up everytime he cries (especially since he's mastered the fake cry), but I know when he's really upset and needs comforting. There is no harm in that.


And earlier today, he was getting Aden's evening milk bottle, and Aden was standing there going "ba", for bottle. Richard went, "I'm not giving it to you until you say bottle." I said "he's not going to say bottle." And Richard goes "fine, say milk." Obviously the best Aden could do was "ma", so he said that. Richard sounded so disappointed, and grudgingly gave him the bottle.

HE'S 16 MONTHS OLD, NOT A BLOODY GENIUS.

I said "Aden is good at talking." And Richard goes "I know, but he could be better."

He's constantly trying to push him to do better, at just 16 months. Aden is smart, he's strong, he's independent ... he sleeps well, he's not picky about food, he's always laughing ... honestly, what more could you ask for in a toddler? Like ... in the future, if Richard is constantly pushing him to always do better, Aden's going to HATE him. Richard says he just wants him to do his best ... but if that was the case, wouldn't he NOT push him to do better? I'm very proud of everything Aden does, even if it's climbing on things in order to get his hands on something he shouldn't ... because it's just him growing up.

Frankly, I find it quite sad that Richard feels the need to push his son. I can't stand it. Ultimately, if he doesn't quit ... it'll really put a strain on both our relationship, and our family. That's not what I want.

Ugh ...

Mormon Missionaries

I finally got a letter from a Mormon friend of mine who is on his mission in Argentina right now. He's been gone almost 2 years (he'll be back next month) and I just got a letter from him. It made my day.

He told me about how different it is there, and how different it will be when he comes home. He said he's having the best time of his whole life there, and that he will be both happy and sad to be back home next month. I must say, though ... I'm looking forward to seeing him again. He'll get to meet Aden, and for that, I'm excited. He'll love Aden ... because well, who doesn't?

I was really glad to have heard from him, because up until now, I was afraid he was joining the ranks of friends lost due to pregnancy. Thankfully, that is not the case. He knows I have made mistakes in my life, and I'm glad he has accepted that I'm not perfect. He just thinks Richard and I should be married -- good thing we're engaged!

Yay ... what a good day.

Because It's Too Expensive, That's Why

All in all, here is the reason I won't study for my learners:

IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE.


First, I would have to pay to take the test ... which would be what, $60?

Then, I would have to pay for the card itself ... and I'm not sure what that would cost, but we'll say overall, my learners would cost $70.

$70 we don't have. Ever. We don't even have the money to save for it, since we can't afford to save for all the other stuff we're supposed to be saving for.

Then, in a year, I'd have to get my licsense, which would be what ... another $70? Actually, I think it would be even more.

Of course, then I would have to find a cheap car, so that's like ... thousands we don't have (and never will).

I don't even want to think about all the gas I'd have no money for ... plus insurance (yeah right, keep dreaming).

Richard's outlook: He puts away $70 for when I want to take my test. We start saving after that for a year so I can be driving.

Um ... where does paying for a WEDDING fall into place here? Or the house he wants to buy? Or the second child.

HELLO!

Blowing Raspberries

Here is Aden, blowing raspberries on our leather ottoman. I apologize for Richard's half-nakedness ... it was a hot day, apparently!

Kayla's Rules for Home Haircuts

I just gave Aden his second hair cut (his first all-over hair cut) and decided to share a few pointers for cutting your own child's hair.

1. You can't expect to give a half-decent haircut without first distracting your child. It just won't work.

2. If there is a cartoon on TV, his delightful father will not be able to pay attention, and will therefore not be able to stop the child from screwing around. Be sure to turn off the television. If the TV was the child's distraction, find something else.

3. Only do the minimal amount of cutting needed to get the job done. Your child is bound to get bored, and when they do, cutting their hair won't be a simple task.

4. Don't do the haircut remotely close to naptime, bedtime, meal time, or snacktime. This should be obvious, but you never know.

5. Don't let the child play with the comb ... particularly when they are also eating a marshmallow banana. You will end up with sticky banana spit in the comb, and in the hair. That's not what you want ... especially if you have just washed their hair ...

6. Don't expect a perfect hair cut. Like me, you might have to fix up a couple spots before the day is over.

7. If you mess up big time, always remember: it'll grow back. If you happen to have a husband who shaves his own head, you can even get him to fix it, buzz cut-style. In that case ... it grows back.

8. Spending about $20 on hair-cutting scissors will eventually save you money, as opposed to spending $10-$20 on a professional hair cut every few months, when in fact, they probably won't do much better, if you have a child who wiggles as much as mine.

9. Don't forget to sweep up the hair after. Forgetting will end up in disaster.

10. Most importantly, try your best not to cut your child. Have quick reflexes, so if they flinch, you can pull the scissors away!


I hope you enjoyed my 10 rules for hair cutting. I'm no professional, especially since this is just the second time cutting off Aden's wavy blonde locks, but in those two haircuts, I've learned a thing or two!

Hi, I'm Kayla ... I'll be Aden's mother FOREVER

I wasn't aware that watching a toddler over night gave a person the right to take over all parenting duties. Apparently I'm mistaken ... or so it might appear. No, no ... I'm pretty sure it's not me who's wrong here ...

Anyway, on with my story ...

So I gave in, and let Richard's parents watch Aden over night at their place. It seemed to go well -- besides the fact that his mom did not put him down for his 10:30 nap this morning, so he had to go down at 1:30, which screwed up his whole day ... but anyway!

After his nap was finally done around 4:30, Richard's mom invited us for dinner. So we went.

Aden was grouchy the entire time (mainly because he didn't get a chance to eat a real lunch, since his naptime was totally screwed up), and everytime he complained, Richard's mom would rush to the rescue (or so she thought) and scoop him up. Of course Aden would reach to her, because Richard and I were ignoring him (if we scooped him up everytime he bitched, we'd go insane) ... so she would get excited and pick him up, thrilled that he wanted to go to grandma.

So as if screwing up Aden's nap (and lunch), and trying to fix whatever problem he might be whining about (even though he was clearly just whining for attention) ... she just kept butting in to EVERYTHING. Just before getting ready to take off, Richard was setting up to change Aden's wet diaper. Aden, as usual, kept trying to get up and run away. Richard's mom comes over, as Richard lays Aden down again, and goes "You're having problems. Let me do it."

Um ... I think Richard knows how to change a wet diaper! Hello! Aden is 15 months old! It's not exactly a strange and new experience for Richard! Aden is just not always eager to lay down. Richard's mom just came over to them, and completely tried to take over all parenting duties.

I'm sorry ... but Richard and I are the parents. We get to make the calls for EVERYTHING. Just us. At least, until Aden is old enough to put in his two cents. Until then, it's the mom and the dad; AKA, Me, and Richard. WE will take care of the diapers, unless you are asked or we are otherwise unable to do it. WE will comfort him when he's upset, if he is actually upset and not just faking. Unless we ask you for help, don't butt in. We're doing just fine raising our kid on our own. Ugh ...

Yeah ... needless to say, she will not be our first choice of overnight babysitters ...

Our Morning on TV

Our alarm went off at 5:15 this morning. What an awful time, I know. I finally dragged myself out of bed just before 5:30 so I could get ready for our appearance on Breakfast Television. I got ready, put makeup on, got Aden's stuff together, and finally, just before 6, got Aden out of bed. He did not want to get up. He wouldn't even open his eyes, he was so happy to be sleeping. It didn't take him long to wake up, though. He was happily running around the house mere minutes after coming upstairs. I put him in a striped t-shirt, nice jeans, and his spiderweb hi-tops. He looked very cute, if I do say so myself.

We arrived at the Getaway Spa for Men at about 6:30, 15 minutes before we had to be there. It was good timing, thanks to Richard's Tom Tom. We shook hands with Jill Belland, and two people who worked at the spa.

Then it was time for us to be on TV. First they would do a teaser (you know, "when we come back ... blah blah blah"). They showed Aden and I, and Richard sitting in the chair, ready for his shave to begin. After that, Jill asked me why I nominated Richard. I stuttered something about him working a lot and not getting to spend as much time with us as he'd like ... I'm sure it didn't come out very well. But Aden was cute, so who really cares. Then she asked Richard if he was looking forward to it, or something. I'm not really sure. And they took a before shot of him.

After that, Aden got to run around the spa for awhile. He enjoyed running back and forth, and looking out the door at the puppies (we were next door to a dog grooming place). Then it was time for another teaser. Jill said "Here we are, just relaxing at the spa" and the camera guy showed Aden laying on the floor, eating Cheerios. Aden sat up and nodded at the camera. It was hilarious. He was quite the entertainment.

Richard got a hot shave done, which he said was quite relaxing, as well as some laser stuff on his neck (I think to get rid of the ingrown hairs). He said the laser part hurt a lot, and that the woman didn't do as good a job on the shave as he'd hoped, but overall I think he liked it. We found out it was about a $400 treatment that he got. Pretty fancy!

It's kind a bummer that he couldn't have the rest of the day off, but he did have to go back to work as soon as we got home. We got back home around quarter to 9, so he really only missed just about 2 hours of work, which isn't bad at all.

Overall, I'd say it was a pretty good thing, considering I can't get him a real father's day present!

No Overnight

A couple days ago, I suggested some Aden-free time for Richard and I. We haven't had an evening alone for awhile (we used to do something without Aden every couple weeks), and it would be nice. I'd love to go for dinner or something, but since money probably won't allow for that, a movie at home would suffice too.

Richard agreed that it would be alright, and suggested (as per usual) that his mom take Aden overnight. To avoid confrontation, I just ignored that comment and went about my business.

Then, without my okay, Richard brought it up with his mom yesterday. She said, of course, she'd gladly take Aden for a night. I'm a little annoyed by that, for two reasons: a) We never actually planned an Aden-free night -- we merely talked about it for a few minutes, and b) Richard knows full well that I am not fond of that idea ... yet he went ahead and asked his mom if she could watch him anyway.

Don't get me wrong ... it's perfectly fine if his mom wants to watch Aden. She's done it before, and he lived through it, so there's no problem. It's just that having them watch him overnight is not the most convenient choice. If we just had to drop Aden off for a few hours in the afternoon, that's fine -- Richard's parents are probably my first choice for that scenario. But overnight ... that's an entirely different thing.

For one, we'd have to bring over a lot more than we do if my parents watch him. We'd have to bring over the play pen and set it up (whereas at both my mom's house and my dad's house, there is already a play pen there for him to sleep in). We'd have to bring over a lot more food for him to eat too. Richard's parents typically don't buy milk, or fruit, or anything Aden typically eats at home; my parents (either set of them) generally have that stuff in their fridge at all times. Richard's mom would have to go buy milk and something for Aden's breakfast just for him to stay there one night. That doesn't sound very convenient to me.

Then there's the space issue. At my dad's house, there is one bedroom pretty much designated to the grandbabies -- the playpen is in there, as well as some of Wendy's things. At my mom's house, there's room for the play pen in one of my many siblings' rooms, because chances are, they wouldn't all be there when Aden stays there. At Richard's parents' house, however ... where would the playpen go? There's a spare bedroom between his parents' bedrooms (don't get me started) but there's maybe like ... one square foot of space that doesn't have some junk in it. And um ... the play pen does not fit in one square foot.

I know Richard's mom has watched his niece overnight (she's 18 months old), but Aden and Madison are very different. Space isn't an issue with Madison, because she co-sleeps. She sleeps with Richard's mom when she's there, so they do not have to worry about space for a playpen. Aden CAN'T co-sleep. He won't. He won't do it with me or Richard, and he certainly won't do it with anyone else. And he won't even sleep in the same room as somone, even if he's in a separate bed. And I have a feeling that Richard's mom would have a much harder time with Aden than she does with Madison. I'm sure (even if we did find some space in a seperate room for him) that if Aden made a noise in the night (which would most likely be in his sleep), Richard's mom would take him from his bed ... and then he wouldn't sleep all night. She doesn't seem to grasp the idea that Aden is a lot more ... self-sufficient than Madison. He doesn't need as much attention as her, and he CAN'T sleep with, or near, anyone else. Madison requires more attention, and she must sleep with someone. I'm not saying either kid is better, mind you, just that they're really quite different.

I don't know ... I just don't see it going well at all. Like I said, if we just had to drop Aden off for an afternoon, Richard's parents are my first choice. When it comes to overnight, however, my parents (either set) are the obvious choice.

I have a feeling we won't get our Aden-free night for awhile ...

TV Appearances

On Monday, they mentioned a Father's Day contest on the morning news. It was for a spa thing at a men's spa. I decided to nominate Richard, mostly because I can't get him a gift this year.

To my surprise, I got a call about it this morning! We won! I called Richard to see if he could get the time off work, and to make the story short, we're going to be on TV on Friday morning! Richard will get a hot shave (something he will love), and I'll be interviewd about why I nominated him.

I'm so nervous! But it will be exciting nonetheless.

We have to be there at 6:45 Friday morning (eep!) which will be quite a feat, since we'll have to drive there as rush hour is kicking in! Hopefully Aden cooperates!

Now to figure out how to record it somehow so we can have it for Aden later on!

What Is Wrong With Me??

On Saturday night, I took advantage of the drinks Richard bought me in my previous blog entry. Aden went to bed shortly after eight, so I decided it was a good night to have a drink and watch some Smallville. Smallville is Richard's favorite show, and we've been (sort of) watching it on DVD, so I can catch up -- when we started watching together, it was on season 6, so he's had to explain a few things to me here and there.

Anyway, we don't get many opportunities to stay up late to watch it, since Richard goes to bed around 9:30 most nights and Aden is only in bed an hour before that. So I figured since Sunday was his only day off over the weekend, we might as well get in an episode or two. Naturally, I figured I'd have a drink while we watched, to help with the heat, as well as my stress! That drink tasted pretty damn good.

It went down way too smoothly and way too quickly and Richard brought me a second one.

By the time we had watched two episodes of Smallville (season 2) and I had two drinks, we were more than ready for bed. I maybe had a slight buzz, but that's IT.

When I woke up the next day, I felt as if I had been BLITZED the night before. My head was pounding, my stomach was doing flip-flops, and I just felt GROSS. I figured it was just because the drinks I had were super sugary ones, and those have a tendency to give you a bit of a hangover.

However ...

Suddenly I felt an all too familiar feeling. Uh oh. I rushed to the bathroom and I puked. That's the weirdest part. Even when I used to drink a lot, I never was the kind of person who threw up a lot after drinking. Even the day after my 20th birthday (when Richard got me way too drunk), I didn't throw up. The last time I threw up from drinking ... well ... I was pregnant, and just didn't know it yet.

After my delightful trip to the bathroom, I went upstairs with Aden and Richard and laid on the couch. About a half hour later, I had to go back to bed. But before I could go to sleep ... I had to rush to the bathroom to throw up again.

Needless to say, I'm a bit baffled. Why the hell am I throwing up and feeling so rotten after TWO drinks? It was so bizzarre.

We'll blame it on the huge amounts of sugar in my drinks, plus the heat, shall we?

Redemption

During my last blog entry, Richard was off paying bills or whatever, and since he had taken my grocery list with him, I figured he would pick up a few more things.

Well, Richard, the sweetheart (geez, I sure don't say that often!) ... bought pretty much everything on my list and even a few extras. I was flabbergasted! I appreciate what he did SO much.

What I appreciate most was that he got me drinks for the weekend (trust me -- it was much needed), licorice (I'm addicted), Oreos, and -- get this -- feminine products! He even called to make sure he picked the right ones. Oh my.

It's very rare when Richard does something that sweet for me, but man ... when he does it, I appreciate it SO much.



Ugh ... my nose is telling me Aden is poopy ... great ...

Sometimes I Need Things Too

Today we went to the store.

Aden got diapers and wipes, and we bought a minimal amount of food (mainly things Aden likes to eat).

After that, Richard got beer.

Know what I got?

I got upset. Because of what I wrote about yesterday (how I barely eat so that Aden and Richard can eat), and because I really really wanted my equivalent of beer. After the last few days of temperatures near 30 inside, I need a cold drink. But no, Richard couldn't even buy me pop.

After bawling all the way home (okay, maybe the heat is getting to me), I explained to Richard why I was upset. I explained to him that I barely eat so that he and Aden can eat. I explained that I barely drink anything so that Aden can have the juice, Aden can have the milk, and I ... well I get to have the dryest mouth in the world. I'll drink water, if I'm dying of thirst ... but, like a lot of people, it's not my first choice.

Richard said I should've spoke up. I knew what would happen if I did that -- he would've got mad because we're broke. Even so, he got beer -- shouldn't I get something to quench my thirst too?

Ugh ... he went to the bank (I think) to take care of some things ... and he took my shopping list. I certainly hope he comes back with something to satisfy me from the heat ...

The things we do for our children ...

I think I can probably list every food item we have in our house. I won't list them here, but I still think I can list them. That just goes to show you how little we actually have here that we can eat.

Because of this, I have stopped eating a lot less. I know I am not the only mom that does it. I will seriously cut down on what I eat so Aden, and I suppose Richard, can have a lot more to eat. And, like I said, I know there are more moms out there that do the very same. It's just one of the many sacrifices we make as mothers.

Today, for example, when Aden went down for his first nap, I really started to get hungry. His nap time is typically from around 10:30 to 12:30, so my lunchtime falls right in the middle of it. I thought about what I could eat, and checked in the fridge. I could've had a tomato sandwich, or even a cheese whiz sandwich. But I decided against it, because Aden likes tomatoes, and he eats the bread and the cheese whiz.

Instead, I opted for a couple Oreo Cakesters -- something Aden isn't fond of.

Richard, my brilliant fiancee (uh ...), has not noticed that when I don't (or can't) make much for dinner, I'll eat about half of what I'd normally eat. He hasn't noticed that when I snack, it tends to be when there's extra food in the house (rare, but it happens), and it's a very minimal snack, basically to keep me from near passing out! He hasn't noticed that I won't drink milk unless there's more than one jug of it in the house. He hasn't noticed that I sacrifice so much so he and Aden can be somewhat satisfied.

Richard comes home and drinks pretty much an entire jug of juice to himself. Juice that Aden drinks. In the past two days (and two jugs of juice), I've had two glasses of milk, both mixed with water, so the juice will last longer. If Richard wasn't drinking the juice, it would last twice as long, because when I give Aden juice I mix it with water as well (to make it last longer). Richard, however ... pours himself a full, huge glass of it, with no water mixed in at all. If it weren't for Aden, I would probably drink a lot more juice and wouldn't mix it with water. I don't try and make the juice last for Richard to have it ... yet he must think that's why I do it.

Note that Richard only drinks juice when he's out of beer. I almost wish we had beer right now ...

If Richard hadn't gone and chugged the last 3 or 4 jugs of juice, we'd still have 4 or 5 cans of it in the freezer. Instead, we have 2. Now lookie! We have to buy more juice!

Ugh ... the things we do for our kids ...

Baby Fever

Baby fever just comes up at the perfect moments, doesn't it?

It's been getting worse and worse for me lately, and I'm not exactly sure why. I want another kid at some point, but I know now isn't the best time ... and I'm really quite enjoying being a family of 3 right now. But still, I get baby fever ... and it's more and more lately.

Of course it doesn't help that I have my fair share of friends with young babies, brand new babies, and friends that are pregnant. It really doesn't help my ... hankering when I see their photos on facebook!

Today, however, was the worst. I decided to go through Aden's old clothes. I had 15 months worth of outgrown clothes to go through and decide what to keep and what to get rid of. Yeah ... that was not fun to do while I've got baby fever! I guess I was temporarily relieved of my baby fever when I decided sorting through the clothes was a good idea -- because shortly after starting I realized "Oh my GOD I do not want to get rid of ANYTHING." I'm sure I ended up putting things I could let go of in the "keep" bin, but ... eh ... we'll have another kid eventually, so hopefully the silly things I'm keeping will still have more use from us.

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally loving being a family of three, and I adore the stage Aden is at right now. He's hilarious and perfect and I really couldn't be happier with him. But I still want that second child, you know? I want at least two children ... and we all know I do want them close together. And now that Aden is 15 months old, baby fever is kicking in like mad. It's ... not fun, to say the least.

Of course I had to tell Richard that sorting through clothes was not an easy task due to my baby fever ... and he says "I gave you the option to get knocked up." Err ... actually, getting knocked up right now is NOT an option. It's not gonna happen anytime soon, to Richard's despair. I want to wait until we're in a bigger place -- this place will not hold the belongings of two small children.

I guess until then, when baby fever strikes, I'll just have to repeat a few things to myself in my head: Our house is not big enough, we don't have enough money, and I'm okay being a family of 3 for now. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Hopefully that'll help ... for now.

Too Early

I swear ... if Richard's mother calls in the early hours of the morning one more time, I'm going to stomp on Richard's blackberry. Sure, if it's something important, go ahead and call. But seriously, lady, you do NOT have to call EVERY morning for some insignificant thing ... especially when you work with Richard and will see him at seven!!!

Yesterday she called at quarter after 6 to ask Richard if I had written down a recipe for Jenn. That is NOT important. I tried to roll over and tell Richard that, no, I hadn't written down the recipe, I sent it to her on facebook instead, but being that it was quarter after 6 in the morning I did not have the energy to do so. And then, after I got back to sleep miraculously, I dreamt that Richard's mom brought over her dirty dishes to wash them at our house. Man, when I woke up, I was just MAD.

This morning, it was 5:30 am that she called, to ask if Richard was coming in at 5. OBVIOUSLY HE'S NOT. This time, I rolled over and scowled at Richard, because I was PISSED. He had no plans of going in to work at 5; once again, Richard's mom misheard when he was asked to come in at 5 on FRIDAY. Ugh ...

The woman seems to think that because she's up to work at 5 in the morning, everyone must be up that early.

Well I have news for you:

I'M NOT UP THAT EARLY, AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE.

I have a difficult enough time getting to sleep before midnight, and staying asleep until Aden's up at 7:30 or so ... I do NOT need to be woken up for no reason at all before 7.

If she was calling to, say, tell Richard that she had to like ... go to the hospital or something ... that's FINE. Or to tell him that, oh, work is shut down for some reason ... even that is okay. BUT TO CALL HIM AND ASK IF HE'S WORKING AT 5, OR FOR SOME RECIPE IS NOT ALLOWED.

What if I had forgotten about copying out my recipe for Jenn? Would I get up at effing quarter after 6 to write it down? NO. And what if Richard was planning on coming in to work 5, but slept in or something? Is his mother really his alarm clock anymore? NO.

Ugh .......

Cha-Ching! (Or Lack Thereof)

Money is quite possibly the worst thing in the world.

Today Richard made a gameplan for basically the next two months, to get his finances somewhat in order so he can get back to the bank ASAP to find out about the possibility of a mortgage. We went to the bank on Saturday to find out how much we might qualify for, and instead we got a list of what is in collections, of Richard's.

The first thing was something that had been cleared up and just hadn't been taken off the list. The second was something from 2005. He called about that today, to find out how much it is and how he can pay it.

So he'll be paying that $300-something on the 15th -- that's the first part of his game plan.

He'll also pay rent on the 15th, and unfrotunately he'll have to re-loan too ... so we can, you know, survive.

I'm not sure of all the details of his game plan (yes, I sort of zoned out while he was explaining it), but by the end of it, we/he should be: a) free of anything in collections; b) caught up on his car loan payments, which he's currently behind on; c) done re-loaning (at least for the time being); and, d) able to apply for a mortgage. So ... hopefully all goes well.

The only thing is ... I'm not sure how much I'll have to help with bills, with my whopping $300-something a month. With my money, I usually am the one to buy diapers, or whatever else we might need at the time that my money comes in. I very rarely have anything left, and when I do, I like to hang on to it as long as I can, in case something comes up, you know?

I know I should help with bills (especially since Richard pays my phone bill now, AND I have my old phone bill that's gone into collections too), but I just ... can't. I so wish I could. I hate working, but man ... it would be so awesome if I could contribute at least a couple hundred each month, or whatever. As of now, I'm able to add maybe $50 into our bill-paying.

Ugh ... I hate money ...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I know, cheesy blog title, but ... (now I think we all know where I'm going here) ... I NEED SOME RESPECT AROUND HERE!

Ever since getting back from the MS Walk today (which was awesome, in case anyone was wondering), Richard has been seriously lacking in the respect department. I am not impressed by this. He's been rude to me, yelling at me, blaming me (yeah, big surprise there), and has been just plain ... ignorant!

Yeah ... none too happy about that.

Really, do I deserve to be treated like dirt? No, I really don't think I do. Is that really a good basis for an engagement? No, it's not. I mean really. This is BS.

Anyway, on a lighter note, here is a photo:

Here is Hannah, my dad, me and Aden after the MS Walk today.

We decided next year to have a team, since this year altogether we raised over $2000!

Marriage Talk and a Fight

We talked a lot about the marriage dilemma today -- you know, planned wedding vs. shotgun wedding. We still haven't figured out a plan yet, but we did talk about it a lot.

We both think it would be alright to do the quick wedding, with our parents or someone there as witnesses, and to follow up with a small reception. I could still wear a nicer dress (maybe not a wedding dress, but a nice white maxi dress, or something), and could still have bridesmaids there as witnesses.

And we (or Richard, rather) have a dream of buying this mobile home near by -- if we could get it, we could probably have a BBQ or something in our backyard as a reception.

But, we'll see. We go to the bank on Saturday to see how much we'd qualify in a mortgage. I guess we'll go from there.


That said...

We had yet another useless fight this evening.

It began with a dead Wii remote, and ended with me getting the blame for everything.

It's my fault the Wii remote is dead, my fault Aden hid the other one, my fault Aden likes to play and make a mess ... the only thing that can sometimes be blamed on me, is the mess around here. And no, it's not because I'm lazy, it's because I have a million other things to do around here.

Of course, you don't see Richard cleaning, or helping with dishes or anything ... unless of course he's simply throwing everything out.

So I wonder ... why exactly do I get the blame when I'm not the only one capable of cleaning?

Ah, the great mysteries of life ...

Just One Of Those Days...

It's only just after 10 am and I am already having a bad day.


First, I wake up in PAIN. My neck hurt, my back hurt, my nose was still runny, and of course, I had my usual headache.

I went to get Aden up and was not pleased with what I saw. He was soaking wet, which was not usual -- but he was also covered in diaper crystals. Those lovely things that cling to everything and do not come off. I was thrilled. I took him out of his bed and changed his bottom sheet, which was also covered in crystals. Awesome. I carried him upstairs in the most uncomfortable way, because I didn't want to be covered in pee and crystals as well! I changed his diaper and realized that it did not explode because it was full -- it exploded because he was picking at it. Lovely. He's got crystals in his hair, on his shirt and pants, all over his belly... and now they're on the floor, and probably on both of our feet too.

And, to make my day even worse, my internet stopped working halfway through what I had originally typed, and it couldn't save automatically. Now, I don't remember exactly what I had said -- something along the lines of the TV remote missing, I keep dropping my phone, I have a million dishes to do, I have to shower... blah, blah, blah.

I'm going crazy.

Decisions, Decisions

I'm really wondering right now what would be better: a quick wedding, city hall-style... or a bigger wedding.

Let's talk about quick weddings.

A quick wedding, like at city hall, would probably be a good thing for us right now. It would obviously be way cheaper. Also, we could just get it out of the way and then worry about other things... like a second baby. I don't know yet if I want a second baby or a wedding first (though I'm thinking the latter), and Richard does want the second baby first. At the same time, he doesn't want a long engagement -- so again, the quick wedding would be good.

Of course it has its downsides too. When I think about it, as much as I'd love to have Richard's last name ASAP, I get pretty down when I think about all the things I wouldn't have at a city hall wedding: the dress, the bridesmaids, the guests, the dancing, etc. Our families wouldn't be able to attend (aside from witnesses, I suppose) and we wouldn't have all of that.

As for planned weddings...

Of course there is one major downside here: MONEY. It'll take forever to save up enough to have a decent wedding (though I don't want an expensive one, we don't have the extra moolah to save), and we have so many things holding us back from setting a date -- there's my lack of employment, the obvious lack of funds, and the fact that we don't know 100% whether or not we want that second child first. ALSO, we're thinking of buying a house, providing we can qualify for enough... so that would obviously hold us back from saving as well (although monthly mortgage payments would be cheaper than rent... but that's another topic altogether). And then there are all the stresses that come with planning. Yes, I have Hannah's fantastic assistance, but still... there's a lot to worry about on my part. Guest lists, budgeting, stopping Richard's mom from inviting all of her friends (that last one would probably stress me out the most), etc, etc, etc. So much to think about.

Of course, if we were to do the city hall thing, we would do a bigger wedding later on, when/if it's easier to save... after that second baby... perhaps after buying a house. I think maybe if we didn't already have a child in the picture, and were already pretty much married, it might be different... but obviously that is not the case for us.

I wonder if all brides to-be go through the same dilemma....

Ugh... so much to think about...

Grass Pickin'

Here's a video of Aden. We went to the park, and by the time we got there he was tired, so he just picked at the grass. He would pick a handful of it, and put it in a different spot.

Enjoy!

Possible Career? Pour Moi?

A little while ago, my dad told me I should be an interior decorator, or something like that. I don't remember why it came up, but that's what he said.

I didn't really think anything of it at the time. I thought it would be cool to be an interior decorator a long time ago -- back in middle school, or maybe high school.

Recently, though, I've been watching a lot of HGTV... and I'm realizing more and more that I really am into that stuff. I started thinking about how I'd decorate our place, if money wasn't an object... or if we had any at all, for that matter! Our house admittedly does look rather dump-ish right now, but I think it could have potential!

Anyway... back on track here...

On HGTV, I've seen commercials for a staging institute, with courses you can take at home. I think it's something I could totally do! I have good ideas, and I think that staging wouldn't need as much... thought put into it as interior decorating would... you know?

Hm. If only learning was affordable.