One of the Worst Parts of Motherhood

I really hate seeing Aden in pain. Especially when it's something I can't fix. It's so hard seeing him cry and scream, all inconsolably ... and there isn't much in my power to fix it. I do all I can, and he's still hurting ... and I'm out of ideas. It's awful.

Today, I discovered Aden's one-year molars are breaking through. He got up from a nap, and he was PISSED. We changed his bum, gave him cold juice, took his shirt off to cool him down (it's a good 30 degrees in here) ... and nothing helped. He was screaming and crying and rolling around on the floor ... it was so awful to watch. He's not normally a whiney kid, so we knew something must be wrong. We did not, however, know what it was.

Richard picked Aden up, and he spotted Richard's tape measure on the shelf. He wanted it, so, because he was so upset, Richard gave it to him. Aden started gnawing on it immediately. Richard pointed out that that wasn't something necessarily normal for him, so I felt around in his mouth. I knew he had a front tooth pop through a few days ago, but that shouldn't be bugging him anymore.

Sure enough, two little points in the back of his mouth told me his one-year molars were coming out. GREAT. We gave him a teether that was still in the freezer from the last teeth, but since it really only reaches the front ones, it didn't help. We served him dinner as usual, but he wouldn't eat it. No way. I gave him a different teether from the fridge, and it reached further back, but he still didn't want it.

I tossed some of his longer spoons in the freezer, and have some yogurts ready to be frozen with spoons in them (like a popsicle) ... but those won't be ready until tomorrow. Tonight, nothing we could do really helped. We gave him some Tylenol ... but that is all we can do.

Bed time was the worst. After giving him that Tylenol, I laid him in bed, gave him his water, gave him a kiss ... and he was just bawling and reaching out to me. I tried to comfort him without picking him up, but nope, he didn't want that. He just bawled and bawled, and my heart just broke and broke. I hate when he cries. It's the worst when there's nothing I can do to help. After turning our backs on him and turning out his light and stuff, I just ... cried. I wish I could help.

And THAT is one of the hardest parts of motherhood.

A Video

Here's Aden. First he's reading a book, then he runs off and does Aden things.



Enjoy!

No Kamloops For Us

I was so excited for the weekend of July 31st to August 4th. Aden and I were going to my Auntie's new house in Kamloops with my mom and siblings. My mom was going to rent a van so we could all go. I was really looking forward to it, because I haven't seen my Auntie for 3 years, and Aden has yet to meet that leg of my family. So yeah, it wasn't something to look forward to.

Turns out my mom couldn't find any 6-passenger vehicle to rent. None.

And of course Richard won't take his car for a 7+ hour drive. His car seems to develop new problems every time we go on any kind of long-ish trip. That, and he doesn't insurance. Oh, AND there's the fact that there's no way we can afford gas for a drive that long. So yeah ... no way his car is going that far away.

So now, we have to be stuck at home for the entire long weekend with grumpy ol' Richard. Either that or he'll make us go on one of two trips with people that I will never EVER go anywhere with ... people that I can't even stand for more than a half hour. Yeah ... either way, it will not be a fun long weekend ...

Working Stiff

I had an interview at Toys R Us today. Babies R Us to be more specific.

And you know what?

I GOT THE JOB.

Hell yeah.

Orientation is on August 10th and the store opens on the 19th. I'm so excited.

I'm gonna be so awesome at this job.

You had a bad day, the camera don't lie

Today was the worst day I've had in a long time.

I tried to send Richard a text this morning, and it didn't go through. Great. Our phones have been cut off. I don't know if Richard didn't get a warning, but if he did, he didn't pass it on to me. It's kind of a bummer because we don't have a house phone ... so without cell phones, all we have is facebook. And obviously I can only check that if I'm at home ... so when I go away this weekend, we're outta luck.

Later, I'm lying on the couch, exhausted from the heat and the already long day, and Aden is looking out the back window at Gunther, who's tied up outside. Suddenly he gets scared and runs to me. So I look out the window to see if he was actually afraid of anything. What I saw made me VERY mad. First, I noticed the back gate is wide open. Then, I can't see Gunther. I immediately think someone has come in our back yard to untie him -- it's happened before. My eyes follow the string he gets attached to, and I see him sitting in the doorway of the wide open gate. I just didn't see him because of the bright sun. What I noticed next really pissed me off.

My bike is GONE. We bought a brand new seat for it yesterday (and not the cheapest seat in the store) and Richard was in the midst of fixing it. And now it's gone. I'm so mad.

When Richard got home from work, he said he talked to his mom and she said one of two of my baby cheques had come in the mail. Finally something good.

Or so I thought.

We went over to his mom's house a bit later, and I'm very disappointed by my cheque. The first cheque I get in a month is the one we've called "the big cheque" in the past. Well, it's not so big anymore. Previously, I would get around $360 in total. Now it's down to a whopping $185 a month. Yet another disappointment in my day. We would use every penny of that $360 in most months ... now we have a little over half of that to work with. And of course, had this cheque been as big as it used to be, I was going to give Richard some money to get our phones turned back on -- now who knows how long it's going to be before we have cell service again.

I have an interview at Toys R Us tomorrow ... and I'm just praying that it goes well so things can start to look up for us, even just a little.

Aden's First Camping Trip

On Thursday the 16th, we took Aden on his first camping trip. I was looking forward to it, mainly because it was Aden's first -- I am not a fan of camping, especially when it's in a tent.

When we arrived at the campground, there were NO spots available. It was a little surprising, considering we went on a Thursday! The lady in charge gave us a list of people that could be leaving that day, and told us to go talk to them, so we did. After wandering around the campground for awhile, we found a couple who was leaving in a few hours. Lucky us! It was the "few hours" part that wasn't so exciting. But, we decided to play at the river that was only steps away from the site we would get. Aden loved it.

Between getting our site and going to bed, a lot of fighting ensued ... but I'm not going to make this about that. I'll blame the fight on a few too many beers on Richard's behalf, and leave it at that.

When it came time to go to bed, I wasn't looking forward to it. Richard, Aden and I would all be sleeping on one air mattress in the tent. Aden does not typically sleep well when he has to share a room, let alone a bed, with someone else. But, it didn't take long for him to go to sleep. And aside from getting cold a couple times in the night (which was surprising, since he was in fleece jammies) he slept well all night.

When he woke up at 6:15 the next morning, he looked around and said "wow!" He was fascinated by the tent.

Overall, it was a good trip. Aden enjoyed it all: playing in the river, eating the food, running around outside, and even getting his butt changed outside! Hopefully we'll get a chance to go again this summer.

Here's some pictures from the trip:

We let Aden sit with us when driving to the campground store, and he loved it. Later on, Richard let him actually steer ... and needless to say, I was terrified.

Aden's first dip in the river. It was freezing cold and he didn't even seem to notice!

After we put his lifejacket on so they could go a little deeper.

Having fun.

"Helping" daddy set up the tent.

Pigging out.

Playing with his new ball at the playground.

Going for an evening dip in the river with daddy.

Cold water!

My favorite picture.

Funny face

He had so much fun in the water.

Enjoy!

Once In Awhile ...

Sometimes, I miss my old life. It's rare, but it happens.

Like tonight. I saw my best friend's facebook status say: [Friend's Name] is having her first dinner party tonight! Of course I immediately assume that said dinner party will be with my ex-friends, who are still her friends. And I don't know why, but that made me a little bit sad.

If I had friends, it would be so awesome to have a dinner party. Or, better yet, if I was still friends was those friends, it would be so awesome to attend that dinner party. I don't think my issue is really that I miss those friends, because they really are huge jerks now, I just miss ... having friends in general, I think, and being able to socialize and stuff. I mean, I sometimes miss those friends ... the way they were in high school, before I got pregnant. By the sounds of it, they're all huge jerks who are very ... high and mighty and proud of their "accomplishments" ... so I know we wouldn't get along anymore.

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to be a non-dinner-party-going, internet-friends-only, stay-at-home mom shut-in ... ah, well.


While we're on the topic of missing things ...

For one reason or another, the city we live in is pretty much falling apart. On purpose, of course, but still ...

First, they tore down a bar in town that has a huge place in the past for Richard and I. I think they tore it down last summer and I still get a little emotional driving past it. They tore it down so they could built low-budget housing, or whatever. A year later and they still haven't even levelled the area yet. Stupid city ...

That bar has a lot of memories for Richard and I. We started going there on weekends for $2 hi-balls, which resulted in a lot of drunken nights together. Some of them I can't remember, but a lot of them I can. Like they were yesterday. Obviously I don't miss those drunken nights, but we'll never be able to point out that bar to Aden and say "Mom and Dad used to go there all the time!" or whatever. 10 years down the road, I bet it will still be an empty area that they tore down for nothing -- oh, I should add that the building was almost 100 years old -- and we'll have to say "Mom and Dad used to go there ... before it was a bunch of rocks and dirt ...".

After that, they tore down another bar that has an even bigger place in our past! Essentially, it's the place where Richard and I met. We had seen each other working at Wal-mart, but this other bar is the first place we talked. It's the first bar I went to when I turned 18, even ... and even before I met Richard I made a LOT of good memories there. A lot of bad memories too, but still ... memories I'll never ever forget! And now ... they're rubble. Sad ...

Most recently, they tore down the "rat hole". It was an overpass/underpass going from this side of town to the west side. It doesn't hold a whole lot of memories, but there is still one there. It was one of many drunken nights with Richard; we were at a bar that we now live near -- at the time we lived on the west side. We walked under the rat hole, which wouldn't have been safe at a busy time of day, but seeing as how it was around 1 am, we were okay. It was a very long walk home, I'm sure, but it was very memorable, despite the amount of liquor in us.

So, it's depressing that the city is just ... tearing down all of my memories ... OUR memories.


Ugh ... stupid ... remembering stuff ...